


Old Married Professors

by casstayinmyass



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bickering, Defense Against the Dark Arts Professors, Fluff and Humor, Harry Potter Lives With Remus Lupin and Sirius Black, M/M, Minor Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley, Old Married Couple, Post-Sirius Black in Azkaban, Professor Remus Lupin, Professor Sirius Black, Remus Lupin Lives, Sirius Black Lives
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-19
Updated: 2018-03-19
Packaged: 2019-04-04 19:52:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14027541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/casstayinmyass/pseuds/casstayinmyass
Summary: Harry gets to class one day, and realizes things are going to be a little different-- Sirius, now proven innocent and accepted again by the wizarding world, is teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts with Remus. Both of his godfathers teaching together? Oh, sure. Should be fun.





	Old Married Professors

**Author's Note:**

  * For [watnie247](https://archiveofourown.org/users/watnie247/gifts).



Harry gathered his books and dawdled out of the potions room behind his friends, following them down the corridors. They had Defense Against the Dark Arts next, which had been prioritized by the ministry after Sirius had told them just what to expect.

Harry smiled. His godfather had finally been acquitted one month ago after a lengthy trial, and he now lived with Remus and him at Grimmauld Place during breaks from school. It was nice to have a home to go to that wasn’t with Uncle Vernon—Remus hadn’t been able to take him when Sirius was still in Azkaban, as there were no legal papers for it, but now that Sirius was out and proven innocent, they could finally claim custody of Harry together. They had spent the summer fixing Grimmauld up into something of a livable space (after Remus had droned on for a day about how awful the wallpaper was). Sirius had reminded him that the Blacks were not known for their interior decorating, and quickly got to work charming it into a tasteful juniper color.

His new family arrangements, of course, presented Harry with a rather awkward situation at school—one of his two godfathers was his professor as well. Though he had had reservations at first, Remus had proved to be wholeheartedly cool about it. He never singled Harry out, or rubbed stains off his cheeks as Harry imagined doting parents would do. No-- Remus treated Harry as equally as before, for he knew how the other kids would tease.

“What do you think we’re doing today?” Ron asked as they made it down the winding staircase.

“I don’t know,” Harry shrugged.

“Doesn’t he tell you?” Ron pressed on, “You know, what he’s going to teach?”

“He doesn’t tell me anything,” Harry rolled his eyes, “Once I walk through those doors, I’m just a student.”

“Yeah. And the professor’s godson,” Ron scoffed, eyes wide. He still hadn’t gotten over the fact.

“Leave it alone, Ronald,” Hermione cut in, walking between the two boys with her books hugged to her chest, “There’s nothing strange about it. He never gives Harry any special treatment, despite what Malfoy may say.”

“Right,” Ron nodded sullenly, “Fine.”

They entered, and everyone got settled in their seats. Remus was at the front of the classroom, writing something on the chalkboard, and he turned to greet everyone.

“Morning, morning, everyone please, eyes up here.” He smiled. “Hello. Today, the first part of our lesson will be dedicated to… something a little different.” He began to pace at the front. “You see, there’s been a slight addition to the staff here at Hogwarts, and I am joined now by someone who will teach this class _with_ me. A… co-host, if you will,” he grinned, getting a few laughs from the class, “So please, join me in welcoming your new co-professor for Defense Against the Dark Arts…” He clapped, waiting.

Harry looked around the classroom, then to his friends excitedly, wondering who it would be. Another teacher from the school? Or some great, seasoned witch or wizard who had seen it all, and was coming back to share their wisdom! Hopefully it wasn’t Lockhart…

“Well? Who is it?” Draco snapped from the back, and Remus sighed, eyes closing.

“Forgive me everyone, he insisted upon this entrance, and I told him it would never work properly.” Harry began to feel apprehensive. _It wasn’t…._

“Come on now, I did the introduction,” Remus said to nobody, and everyone waited. Just then, in a great flash of black dust and glitter, someone appeared, standing on top of the desk.

“Look at that, Moony!” the man chuckled, “I’m finally taller than you!” He smiled his handsome grin, facial hair trimmed to perfection, and ran a hand through his mane of wild curls.

“Sirius,” Harry whispered. Oh, Snape must be flaming mad... the thought perked Harry's mood instantly. 

“Right, get down before you stomp all over next week’s lesson,” Remus cringed, watching the small glass orbs roll precariously close to his husband’s boots, “That’s it, here we go…” He turned back to everyone. “I give you, Professor Black!” Murmurs ran through the classroom, and some students even starting to panic. “Calm down… calm down, everyone!” Remus tried to say.

“Sirius Black?” Pansy scoffed, standing up, “We’re learning defense against dark magic from a murderer?”

"Like you'd have a problem with that," Ron scoffed at her. 

“You’re endangering all our lives,” Draco stood too, eyeing Sirius wearily, “M-my father will hear of this!”

“He’s not dangerous!” Harry suddenly shouted, quieting all the naysayers, “He was innocent. Proven to be so. Another man named Peter Pettigrew framed him… Sirius is not a killer, he’s a great, brave man, and we’re lucky to have him teaching us!”

“The boy gives a better introduction than you do,” Sirius elbowed Remus, who couldn’t help but smirk, sticking his hands in his pockets.

“And how do you know?” Draco sneered at Harry, “Cavorting with deranged killers now, are we Potter?”

“Leave him alone,” Hermione stepped in.

“Now now, we’re not starting any fights today,” Remus shut the conversation down, and Sirius straightened the lapels of his stylish jacket, walking down the rows.

 “I understand your apprehension,” he said, making sure to look everyone in the eye, “but I am guilty of no crime.”

“It’s true,” Remus nodded, “Professor Dumbledore would not have granted him permission to work here if he was… eh, how did you put it, Mr. Malfoy? A deranged killer.” More laughter spread, and Draco sat back in his seat, crossing his arms.

“Hm. I suppose you’re still all rather frightened of me, aren’t you?” Sirius asked, gazing around. Everyone sort of nodded, and Neville gulped as Sirius sat on his end of the middle left desk. “Yes, I was afraid of that. It’s the mug shot, you see, makes me seem terribly dangerous.” Laughter resounded, and the tension began to diffuse. “What’s your name, young man?” he asked Neville, brushing off his robes.

“N-Neville Longbottom.”

“Longbottom! I knew your parents. Every bit as brave as your mother, I can tell, and every bit as handsome as your father.”

Neville blushed, grinning a lopsided smile. He could tell by Sirius' kind eyes that the rumours weren't true. Sirius smiled too, happy to have eased his nerves. 

“What utter rubbish,” Draco muttered, and Sirius whipped out his wand, casting a harmless little silencing spell on the boy. He furiously tried to speak to no avail, and Sirius winked at everyone.

“I won’t tell if you won’t.”

“That’s enough,” Remus said, breaking the spell on Draco, though he could barely hide his amusement as well. Sirius returned to the front of the classroom.

“Now. Despite what my manic photographs in the paper may tell you, I will not hurt you, or eat you, or kill you,” Sirius smirked, “I went to Hogwarts, same as you, and I know my way around things. If you have any problem—any at all—I will be here to listen and to help.” The students, at this point, were almost entirely comfortable with him. “Oh-- and Harry,” Sirius smiled, eyes finally falling to his godson at the front, “I’m so proud of you.”

“Sirius, we talked about this,” Remus whispered in his ear.

“I know, but he looks so much like his father sitting in class like this,” Sirius put a hand on Remus’ shoulder, admiring their godson. Harry sat there awkwardly.

“Um… great, yeah," Harry mumbled, already feeling hot under scrutiny from everyone else.

“Okay, for today’s lesson, we will be dealing with the Bat-Bogey Hex,” Remus said, tapping the board where he had written it.

“Nasty one,” Sirius chimed in.

“Can anybody tell me what this hex is?” Remus asked, and looked instinctively to Hermione, who of course had her hand up. “Miss Granger, do enlighten us.”

“It’s a hex that turns your bogeys into bats,” Hermione said, “So bats fly out of your nose.”

“Bloody hell,” Ron muttered, making a face, and Harry also grimaced a little.

“Thank you. Yes, you are quite right. It has been around for quite some time,” Remus nodded, “1152 was the first known account of this hex being used, created by a powerful and crafty witch named Mable Dwillingwort.”

“Actually,” Sirius said, “Miranda Goshawk was the witch who made it.”

“Pardon me?” Remus turned to him, giving him a stern look, but Sirius ignored it.

“As I recall from my studies, Goshawk created it to get her sisters’ attention in a family of many siblings.”

“Fine,” Remus sighed, “Miranda Goshawk created the Bat-Bogey, though that is largely irrelevant to our lesson.”

“Well then, why did you bring it up?” Sirius asked.

“I thought they might like to know a little bit of background information—"

“Nobody ever wants to know background information, Remus.”

“Not true at all, I would have found it incredibly interesting—"

“You find astronomy interesting, Remus, that’s not saying much.”

“You are named after a _star_ , Sirius Black, don’t pull that card!”

Hermione cleared her throat, and both men turned back to the class they were supposed to be teaching.

“As I was saying,” Remus continued warily, “Bat-Bogeys can be particularly frightful hexes. Though not deadly on humans, you would not wish to find yourself on the receiving end of this hex, so we will be learning today the correct blocking spell to stop it.”

“Take out your wands everyone,” Sirius said, and sat back against the desk, leaning his elbows on his knees. He looked up at Remus. “You know, you look exceptionally good teaching a class.”

“So do you, my dear,” Remus mumbled, squeezing his hand quickly, before clapping. “Alright! Your textbooks do have the spell, but as you all know, I despise the thing, it’s ministry approved and it’s complete rubbish, so I will be teaching you a different way.”

“Could we have a volunteer?” Sirius asked, and immediately looked to Malfoy to be the test animal. Remus shook his head, and selected a volunteering Seamus.

“Mr. Finnigan, thank you.”

“Aye, I figured it might be fun to watch bats fly out of my nose,” the student shrugged, and everyone laughed. Remus smiled, looking down.

“Well, you won’t need to if you are successful in casting this counter-spell. Now, repeat after me—“

“Protego Horribilis,” Sirius said, and Remus frowned, turning to him.

“Don’t you think that’s a tad dramatic?” he asked, and Sirius shook his head.

“It’s quite horrible to have bats flying out of your nose.”

Seamus nodded. “Man has a point.” Remus turned, then looked back at his husband in challenge.

“Protego _Horribilis_ will cast a shielding charm so great you will knock the person hexing you several feet back, possibly wounding them. It is to be used from a great distance away.”

“The bastard deserves it,” Sirius grinned, and Ron snorted a laugh. Remus set his hands on his hips.

“No, “the bastard” does not deserve it, Sirius, this is a hex, not an Unforgiveable.”

“Still, you can’t be too careful.”

“Exactly! So refrain from mortally wounding those who play innocent pranks on you.”

“Yes, I suppose with all the pranks we pulled back in the day, we’d be bruised and bloodied,” Sirius mused, and Remus nodded.

“Thank you, you’ve come to your senses. Now, can anyone tell me what the basic shield charm is?”

“Protego,” Harry spoke up, and Sirius placed a hand over his heart.

“That’s my godson.”

“Merlin’s great grey beard,” Remus slapped a hand to his head, and he turned to Seamus. “Anyway, let’s practice. Without wands first, Mr. Finnigan, if you please—repeat the spell.”

“Protego Horribilis,” Seamus repeated, and Remus’ eyes widened.

“No no! The simple version of the charm, if you please.”

“Well, my solution would work just as well,” Sirius muttered under his breath.

“Need I remind you, Sirius—“

“Need I remind _you_ Remus--!”

“They’re like a bloody old married couple,” Ron whispered incredulously to Harry, and Harry sighed.

“Yea. That’s what they are, Ron.”

Seamus spoke the spell. “Protego.”

“Very good, very good indeed, alright everybody—wands at the ready,” Remus said, and Sirius stood.

“Use whichever spell you believe to be to your advantage.”

“Wait _just_ a minute, do _not_ do that,” Remus growled, “That is dangerous, unethical, and mad.”

“Well you’d know all about finding yourself in the throes of madness, wouldn’t you Moony?” Sirius teased.

“Uncalled for, completely uncalled for—“

“I suppose I’m truly in the _dog house_ now, hm?” Sirius snorted, and Remus smacked him behind the head.

_“That’s enough.”_

_“That’s not what you said last night.”_

“I have to be going,” Harry got up, looking ill, and Remus rubbed his face.

“Harry, sit down. Children, cast the hex and then repeat the _safe_ spell, so nobody gets expelled, wounded, or killed in my classroom.”

“Our classroom,” Sirius corrected.

“ _Our_ classroom,” Remus nodded, giving him a patronizingly sweet smile.

“Right,” Hermione turned to Ron, and he frowned.

“Hold on! How come you get to cast the hex on me?!” He looked horrified at the idea of having bats fly out of his nose, but Hermione gave him a look.

“If I let you cast a hex on me, I would end up with green hair. You’re a talented wizard Ron, but you’re talented in all the wrong ways.”

Ron moped as he waited, and Hermione cast it. He cast the counter-spell, and it actually worked, blocking the hex with a shield.

“You did it!” Hermione blinked. 

“I did,” Ron marveled. They stared at each other in awe, smiling, until Hermione blushed and looked away.

“Look at that!” Sirius joined them, “Brilliant job!”

Remus surveyed the room, inspecting the carnage. “Okay… more of you got it the first time than I thought, so that’s wonderful.” He smiled smugly at the shorter professor. “Nobody used the Horribilis shield. Nobody died. I see a correlation here.”

“You win this time,” Sirius crossed his arms, “But tomorrow, I’ve got a shield charm that will block even an Unforgiveable.”

“Oh no you don’t, you are not doing that one.”

“You can’t stop me Remus, I’m a professor here too now.”

“An irresponsible one.”

“When were you ever responsible?”

“Once, and I hated it, but that is _not_ the point, Pads!”

 Harry, Hermione, and Ron gathered their things, walking out of the classroom and leaving the two to argue. Others were whispering about how this was now the “greatest” class they had, an already fun class gaining an even more exciting edge with Sirius around.

“I swear, 90% of that class was them bickering,” Hermione heaved out an exasperated breath.

“Is that how it is at home, mate?” Ron asked Harry, who thought for a moment.

“No. They’re significantly more docile at home.”

“Like how?”

“Like… sometimes Remus makes Sirius tea, and they cuddle on the couch?” Harry tried to think of one isolated display of affection. There were many, which was a nice change in his home life.

“Sounds ideal.” Ron squinted. “If my mum ever caught my dad trying to cuddle her with a cuppa in his hands, she’d have a bird. She loves that new orange sofa… as if we don’t have enough orange in our house.” Hermione and Harry both looked at their friend funny, and headed on to Herbology.

Harry looked down, smiling to himself. Sirius may have been the embarrassing parent he never wanted others to see, but it was nice to have anyone treating him like that. This was sure to be an interesting year-- especially with the Tri Wizard Tournament soon to come.


End file.
